Reconciling the Heart and Mind

Well, I've given up on that. Now I'm trying to focus on the Body and Soul/Spirit.

I've decided that I'm intellectually and emotionally retarded. So, no use bothering with that.

Let's see how this goes.

Spring: For Rebirth

I am consistently inspired, yet incredibly lazy. I just watched Coco Before Chanel with my mother (though she was asleep) and felt inspired to... do something.

But what? I want to feel passion for the profession I'm going to school for, but I can't seem to. I can't even really get involved in the imaginary future it will give me. I can't bring myself to care.

So I tell myself I really just want to write, but I haven't written anything in years and I doubt that I will any time soon. Yes, I do blog, occasionally, but writing fiction is scarier and more difficult than complaining about my dull life.

I ask myself, WWADD?, and there are no obvious answers. I will finish school because I don't really have much else to do.

I just feel a bit empty right now, but my yearning is not powerful. It's the 2nd of March, a time for rebirth, yet apathy reigns.

How Unclimatic

A couple nights ago, I took my first drink of wine (that my parents know about). The glass was just sitting on the dinner table, and my mom urged me to try it. Much better than the Zinfandel. Probably pricer. Though it does please me that I preferred a "grown up" Bordeaux to an "accessible" white Zinfandel.

Last night, I wrote in a paper journal. I keep going over and over about my makeup regimen, mostly because I have nothing else to think about. February is supposed to be Turquoise, but why do I need this system? Why do I impose arbitrary rules on my life? I'm bordering OCD. This is not Awesome.

I need to learn to follow my heart better.

In all things, really.

Going Where People Are

I had the brilliant idea of Going Where People Are today, for the purpose of Meeting People. This did not occur. However, I did eat a pretty good burger and some fries, bought See's candies (lollipops and soft mints), and flipped through a book on Klimt. Not too shabby.

Lost In The Supermarket

... and lost in the internet. Unwilling to go to sleep. Cheeks burning from over-salted chicken soup. I wasn't even hungry.

The most Awesome thing to do right now would be to dream.

Cosmetic Restraint

Today I found out about an Urban Decay kit that I suddenly desperately wanted. I almost drove off to Ulta to go buy it. Instead, I did the rational, adult, possibly Awesome, thing- I took a shower and thought about it.

I still really want the kit, but will wait until payday to go check it out. Hopefully it will not be so amazing in person (or Ulta will be out of stock) and my wallet will be spared.

An Evening In

After work, I bought some cheap wine (white Zinfandel- a coworker's recommendation for those who know nothing about wine) and ice cream sandwiches. I settled down to a few hours with an empty house, and watched Wanted (starring James McAvoy).

I believe I am one step closer to awesomeness.

New Year's Resolutions

I only officially made one: to not accrue any library fines. Which I already broke because I've got, like, $0.60 from a dvd I still haven't got around to renewing.

I'm on work time (oh noes!) but there's no work to be done right now. What is the most awesome thing to be doing, besides blogging? What Would Awesome Dianna Do?

Awesome Dianna would FIND something to do... like that pile of books that just got dropped next to me. :(

To An Awesome 2010

At midnight, I was standing at the park across the street from my house. I was holding my dog's leash in my right hand, while chatting idly with my best friend. We didn't notice it had struck midnight until we saw fireworks. After gazing at the sparkles for a bit, we ran inside before we could hear gunshots.

I don't know how Awesome sitting around my house, eating pizza and Cherry Coke Zero, and watching weird and possibly scarring movies (Rob Zombie's El Superbeasto and the Swedish Let The Right One In); is, but it's what we did and it wasn't half bad.